Chapter 1 :
Let start with weekend which i spend with Grandmother.
#1 Dear
Mom and Dad it's me your shy kid
It's seems very difficult to pass time on weekends when
you can't share your daily life with your family because somewhere you are
feeling shy and not want to disclose your life with your family and start
searching for another person who can spend time with you...
#2 Where
there is a Love there is life
Now i am left with my love and friend's, i am lucky
that i have one beautiful girl in my life with whom i can share anything but from
last one year she is living in another state (Bangalore ) and i am from Delhi.
But what if your friend's are busy in living their own
life and not even have a time to say "hello" to the person who once
was their best friend,
#3 No
Friendship is an Accident
At the same time I left my job..... leaving a job, losing friends, running out a people i actually like and support of parents are now less than before ( because i left my job ) make me frustrated, irritated angry and miserable and somewhere i was feeling lost (at one stage of life it happen with everyone)
I went to that place where grandmother lived and i just sat with her for few minutes and she start talking about her life.
She start with a family issues and then talk about some daily news happening at our local area then start telling me some story's like "don't and do's" and the interesting thing is I am not listing what she is trying to tell me but I was listing to her emotions, i observed that she need someone who can listen to her and sit with her for a long hours in her lonely old time.
Now what i realize that i need to spend some time with her after all she is an old Grand Mother.
#4 vo bas bolti ja rahi thi or mai sunta ja raha tha #nonStop
I started the talk by telling her that most of the
time i hate myself and feel broken, in-complete, frustrated and it was really
hard to handle my anger at that movement of time and the people behind all of
this are my friends because heartbreak is not only happen in love it happen
in friendship also it depend on how close friends you are.
I look at her face she keeps nodding her head which
giving me indication that she is very much interested in listening to me and i
continue to share my thoughts with her.
Now i am comfortable with grandmother , she
interrupted me and very politely said "IT HURTS BUT LET THEM GO AND MOVED
ON " instantly I replied "hmm yes I could have moved on too but I
didn't because I really respect the word Friendship" then I start
talking about my friends and told her the names of all of them she keep
listening me with beautiful smile on her face. I told her every single line or
you can say thoughts which i wrote for my friends. whenever i get upset from
them i post everything on my Facebook page (Page name is Oh Shit Not Again)
whatever coming in mind at that time so i have some collection of lines which i
wrote for my friends.
#5 I can
teach my mind to forget them but how can I teach my heart that they are no
longer
interested in me
Sometime i upset so hard that even I deleted their
numbers from my phone Deleting
phone number is like deleting memories for me ....but it also didn't work for
me as an emotional person it bring tears on my eyes and sometime hit me a very hard when my best
friends become a memory. it take a huge effort to free myself from memories but
reality is I can never forget those memories can't forget that time which we
spend together, can't forget that loveable friend, but saddest part is the
person who is behind all of this memories forget all the memories of us and
left me alone with some unforgettable memories JO MAI CHAH KAR BHI NAHI BHULA
SAKTA .
This might be the saddest line I have ever written .......
#6 Writing
A Line, Quote, Letter Or Any Single Word For My Friends Is Totally A Wastage of Time
I keep telling her my all the problems related to
friends, not getting job and purpose of life
time is passing very quickly, i
didn't realize we spend one hour together then i offer her some food which i
took for her it was sandwich . "Yes" She like sandwich :)
now she stopped me and told me that it may be possible
you are facing very tough situations related to your job and friends but you
should never lose your hope you need to learn how to live happily she gave her
example and start telling about her what she told me is ...
GrandMother : 52 Years back we met at Mumbai
railway station and in first look we fall in love with each other and at that
time falling in love was like a crime "
We talk to our parents and as usual my parents and his
family is strongly against of our marriage because he is Muslim and i am Hindu
we respect our parents and trying hard to convince them but they didn't allow
us so we decided to run away and get married . we are living happily everything
is going great. before married we decided that after 2-3 months of marriage we will come back to our parents
and ask for blessing and they will surly forgive us for what we did. so as we
decided after 2 months we get back to my home i knocked the door and the person
came out is totally a stranger for me i did not recognize that face so i asked
"who are you ?"
He invited me inside the house and show me that photo
frame which is hanging on the wall of my old room and on that photo frame there
is photo of my mother and father and there was a flower on that pitcher frame i
can't able to control my tears they didn't exist anymore they were gone and i
am totally broken at that time that person told me that after you run away your
parents felt very guilty and cant able
to face society and realized that they can't live anymore and jump over the
bridge and never came back.
It was the toughest time which i faced in my life
after some months we moved away from Mumbai to Delhi and started new life we
gifted with a baby boy after completing 1 and a half years it was the happiest
movement in my life after getting married "happiness is back"
we happily completed 3 years after that there is
another storm in my life
#7 Why won't God allow me to be happy
I noticed that he is coming late from office and
whenever i asked what happen why u coming late everyday and he start shouting
at me and go away by saying just do your work now he is totally changed and
completely different person and sometime he don't even came home for 2-3 days
and always hiding something from me and avoiding my every questions by saying i
am busy with my work.
How can he do that with me we loved each other
unconditionally and now rarely talk with each other i get to know from him that
he is no more interested in this relationship and want to give divorce as early
as possible because he fall in love with another women, i beg at that time that
please don't do this with me but at the end he left me and get married with
another women
I left my parents for him and he left me for someone
who hardly know him from less than a 2 month . now i realize why god don't
allow me to be happy . Their 2 month relationship broke our 5 years of
relationship in a second. i decided to keep my son with me.
#8 You May See Me Struggle But You May
Never See Me Quit - Grandmother
Me and my 2 year old baby are left alone now in Delhi
with very limited amount of money with which very difficult to survive in a
city like Delhi, then I decided to start a small business of sailing vegetables
and fruits for a daily living. i worked almost 14 hours a day and able to
manage some money and somehow manage to provide education to my small son.
Now my boy start going to school, life is stable now
living happily with my son and feeling proud that i am able to educate my son
well and provide him the things which need in daily life. time is passing very
quickly he completed his schooling from government school , then college for almost 3 year and side by
side doing a part time job at call center now he is settled and after
completing his college he got the job in a bank and start earning which was the
best thing ever happened in my life.
he is well settled now and earning decent amount of
money and i am getting older as day by day passing
#9 The highest happiness on earth is marriage :)
It's time for him to get married after all i want to
become a grandmother. i don't even need to find a girl for him. he already
found someone. we fixed a meeting and decide a date for marriage and after a few
months he get married with that girl and now they are living happily.
#10 After marriage there is another Heartbroken
:(
Before marriage he refused many jobs proposal in another state
with good amount of money only because
he never wanted to left me alone in Delhi. but the things have changed now he
and his wife decided to left Delhi for Pune . they both wanted to shift at pune
and want to search job over there but they don't want that i leave alone in Delhi so they decided that i
can leave at old age home for a time being and after some time when they get
settled over their in pune then they wil come back and bring me to pune with
them. so i respect to their decision and then i lived in old age home with some
other old peoples. they promised me that they will come back after few months
but 5 years has been passed in old age home they never come back.
Now my all the hopes are broken down and when i finally
realized that my son never going to come back again then i decided to run away
from that old age home. i don't have that our old home where i can go back and
don't even have enough money to buy food to live alive and here is i am.... sitting on the gate asking for a food and
money from strangers at Uttam Nagar Metro station.
My husband and son left me alone and i am here
fighting alone to survive in this world but I Didn't Quit !!!
" Yes " she sat at Uttam
Nagar metro station i learned a lot from her. she told me that you are lucky
that you have family with you :) that one line sentence is enough for me to
understand the life. and she advised me that never run after a people if the
relationship is real they will come back in your life and will remain there for
a life time ;)
she was not my grandmother but almost loved me like
her son and sometime I bring some food for her but from last few days she was
not there i don't know where she is now, but somehow taught me the meaning of
life.
Her story inspire me that focus on your problems, stay
there and keep fighting until you won and most important thing is NEVER QUIT
!!!
Raman Rayat :)
